Very beautiful women don’t get it easy finding Mr. Right as we all tend to assume. They attract lots of attention from men, so the problem isn’t a lack of suitors… the problem is that after the first date the prospective Mr. Right quickly gets “de-attracted” – drops out of sight. You could almost say the poor guy runs for cover!
If you’re exceptionally good-looking or simply super-attractive to men for some other reason, and you’re looking to find Mr. Right and settle down, this report will show you why you may be having this sort of problem above; also what to do to turn your dating scene around and find the man of your dreams.
First, let’s look at what these women face, straight from the adorable lips of one of them. Ashley wrote to a dating coach:
“Hi,
I am 25 years old and have never been in a serious relationship. I am a very attractive girl and I tend to meet guys easily and go on dates mostly every weekend. My problem is that it never leads to anything more than that. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but the date will go really well and things tend to either move really slow, I won’t hear from them after our date for a week or so, or not at all. My friends all have boyfriends, and I’m really looking to settle down. Can you help me? By the way, it never gets farther than kissing with me. I realize that if they don’t stick around because I won’t have sex with them, then at least I know. It just seems that’s all they are looking for. It seems that attractive girls only get guys that want to sleep with them.
Why can’t I meet a guy who sees me as more?
Ashley
The dating coach offered Ashley some good advice which we’ll look at shortly, but before that let’s analyze this problem and put it in black and white.
As a beautiful, very attractive woman you have lots of power over men. You can use this power to make your man soar like an eagle, as we’ll see in the next few paragraphs. But you can also use your power to make your man plummet down from these heady heights like a ton of lead.
If you’re very attractive and men line up ten deep to go on dates with you, but then following the first date the men are diving for cover, one of two things is happening:
Either you let the man soar like an eagle leading into, and when you first meet on that first date, but then during the course of the date you let his hopes plummet like that ton of lead; or the man is expecting to soar like an eagle when he meets you but then finds he doesn’t get to take off, much less to fly!
Part of the solution is to get feedback why you're de-attracting the men when you date them. We'll give you a plan of action how to get this feedback and improve yourself to fix it. This report references a cry for help, and testimonials and contributions by women (and men) who've been in a similar situation; info that appeared on a public forum where people could post anonymously (so we can assume it's accurate and good-intentioned).
Your problem has to do with the immense power you have over men.
Most attractive women know they have power over men, but most of them probably don’t understand just how powerful an influence they can be on a man’s ego and his psyche. The revelations in this testimonial below will help:
Sam wrote in a public forum:
“Wanting [to date a very attractive woman because she’s a trophy] might be superficial, but the great feeling you have from being with one is absolutely genuine. I’ve only dated a 10 once in my life, but it boosted my self-esteem more than being hired by my jobs and more than getting into an excellent college.
“Dating a 10 inspired me to improve myself in various ways too, from exercising more to improving my mind to even trying to get along with my parents better. Just because I got a lot of joy just from being seen with this girl doesn’t mean I didn’t sincerely like and respect her, though. She was as smart as she was good looking.
“And just because I worshipped her for her looks doesn’t mean that I would put up with anything from her either, in fact, the reason we broke up was that she didn’t do as much to try to make me happy as I did to make her happy…”
To continue… What did the dating coach think was the problem with Ashley? What was she doing or not doing that was turning all these men away, consistently? Here’s what he wrote to Ashley. It was published in a public forum, so don’t ask how come we have it. We’ve shortened it in parts:
“… The pretty girl never lacks for attention. Heads turn when she walks into the room. Men leap to attention and whisper to each other before approaching. Yes, the pretty girl has more dates than she needs and probably has a waiting list a mile long. What could possibly be wrong with this scenario?
“By being singled out for being attractive, you’re never, ever considered ‘normal.’ Well, if you’re a pretty girl or you know a pretty girl, you know exactly what’s wrong.
“You’re an object to men. You never know why someone likes you. You can be intimidating without trying. You can come across as aloof even if you’re just shy. You’re instantly hated by a lot of other women. You’re assumed to be dumb by many men. You may be insecure, but people have trouble believing it.
“You’re given things by men for no reason (Free dinners! Vacations! No speeding tickets!), which creates an odd power dynamic. You’re catered to so frequently that you may lack some kindness, empathy or social grace. When you’re constantly put on a pedestal, it’s hard to be in sync with “normal” people.
“This is the same thing that afflicts celebrities, by the way. Except they get to claim “’diva’ status. You’re just known as a bitch. That last one is just my observation about beautiful people and doesn’t necessarily apply to you. But the point is, by being singled out for being attractive, you’re never, ever considered ‘normal.’
“As a result, you become a lifelong target – a trophy for men to bag. And make no mistake about it, most men want to bag you. For anyone to deny this is patently foolish. I’m as sensitive a guy as you’re going to find in terms of how I communicate with women, but I can still remember the rush of dating a Perfect 10.
“It was as if her magical glow rubbed off on me in some way when she walked into a room. And if I can be seduced by physical attraction, and the glory that comes with landing such a specimen, I would have to assume that 95% of the red-blooded, conscience-free men would feel the same way. Put it this way – when I was single, if I had a chance to sleep with… the most distasteful female celebrity… I’d do it. Just to be able to say I did. I wouldn’t want to have to make pillow talk, or cook her breakfast, or call her the following day.
“I just want to have the meaningless experience and cheap thrill that comes along with sex with a celebrity. Men are to pretty girls what paparazzi are to celebrities. Their constant validation makes them feel important. [To the women, the men’s] ulterior motives make them feel used and disposable.
"[Very attractive women] get perks just for being pretty. Their mere presence makes people excited, nervous, fearful, giddy. And while it might seem like a great ride being a celebrity, tell that to poor Britney [Spears]. Or Mariah [Carey, perhaps?]. Or any of the people who crumble from the pressure and attention foisted upon them.
“I know I’ve gone on a bit of a tangent here, Ashley, because it’s very rare that we hear that the root of someone’s problems stems from being too attractive, but I believe that is the case. Some of the most attractive women I know in Los Angeles – tall blondes with thin waists and big boobs – are 40 and single, because nice guys don’t approach them and slimy guys are always on the make.
“What’s really difficult for pretty girls is trying to assess when a guy IS sincere. I mean, it’s tough enough for an average woman to tell when a guy is interested in a relationship or sex. Imagine what it’s like when you’re objectified wherever you go.
“You start to mistrust everybody. You make nice guys pay for the sins of bad guys. And you think that if you insist on not doing any more than kissing that you’re weeding out the “wrong” guys. You may also be weeding out some decent guys.
“Although it’s unpopular to say, sex is rightfully important to men. A reasonable man with looks and money and life experience might very well say to himself, after five dates with nothing more than a kiss, ‘Screw this. I’m going to find a woman who matches my passion, who makes me feel attractive and sexy, who is excited about me.
“It’s not that you’re wrong for attempting to protect yourself, Ashley. It’s that your layers of protection may be having an unintended side effect – putting off otherwise well-meaning men who don’t want to feel like they’re in seventh grade all over again.
“Despite your very accurate concerns that men want to sleep with the pretty girl, pretty girls get married ALL THE TIME. You want to know how? They let down their guard, they take a chance, and they TRUST. That would be my advice to you as well.
“Good luck.”
In the next section we’ll look at the top three reasons why very attractive women have a hard time getting Mr. Right, but to give you some hope and maybe a reason for patience, one poster said, based on her experiences, that it gets better as you grow older. When you’re in your mid- or early-twenties, you want to settle, and you’re looking for Mr. Right from men your age, it’s going to be painful.
But if you put it off to when you’re in the late twenties and early thirties, it gets way easier to get Mr. Right, from men of your age. At that age men are also looking to settle down, and they want to find The One – FAST.
The other upside to this is that you don’t have to marry a man who is a lot older than you.
(Parts of this report are condensed from content that was first published on www.EvanMarcKatz.com Evan Katz is a personal trainer who helps women who want to find love.)
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