Top 3 Reasons Why Pretty Women Have The Hardest Time Getting Mr. Right
We now have enough background info to analyze and discover the reasons why, as an exceptionally attractive woman, you may be facing this problem above:
#1: You’re dating the wrong type of men – (a) Narcissists (b) “Hot, tall guys who drive nice cars” to quote someone; men who are “over-subscribed” (c) Players/Pick-up Artists/Douchebags
#2: Your life up to this point where you’re looking to find Mr. Right and settle down hasn’t prepared you for the dating scene; the real world. We’ll explain.
#3: You’re (very likely inadvertently) sending bad signals to the men while you’re dating them – things like seeking the attention of other men during the date with the prospective Mr. Right!
This is the point where you take pen and paper and work at determining which of these reasons applies to your unique situation. Go over your past dates in your mind’s eye and see where they started to unravel. Hindsight and your intuition will likely shed a light, given what you know now. You will know lots more after you’ve finished reading this report.
Next, before we look in greater detail at these reasons above, and the causes and effects, first let’s shatter a false notion you may have gleaned from reading Ashley’s email. She wrote: “I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but the date will go really well…”
Those dates really don’t go well for the guys. Eda, a poster who gave Ashley the best advice by far on this problem, said this about the false assumption that the dates go really well. We’ll meet Eda again shortly:
“Although you may feel that laughing and smiling and having a good time is a clear signal to a guy that you are open to seeing him again, it may not be so obvious to him. Seems crazy, I know, but it’s true.”
Reason #1 Insights Plus Explanation
Pre-qualifying the men you date is a great idea, and we covered that in “The #1 Secret (And Formula) To Finding & Getting Mr. Right”. How did Ashley get these men she dated? Later we’ll have a suggestion where to find the right kind of men for the super-attractive, but first, let’s look at the bad bunch –narcissists, hot and over-subscribed men, pick-up artists and playboys.
Narcissists
One therapist said, “A single woman’s downfall comes when she selects men with her eyes.” What he means is that if you’re an attractive woman, dating men who rival your looks is a very bad idea; guaranteed to end in one and only one outcome – tears for you!
Here’s why… Among the exceptionally attractive women the percentage of narcissists is quite high. One of these super-looking narcissist women wrote: [Ashley’s email].
“This will certainly be the type of woman who will attract men who want that and most likely they will be similar types to herself, so she shouldn’t be surprised at who she attracts. The point is, you have to know yourself. Then you can adjust your dating preferences and goals for relationships based on that knowledge. Too bad we learn so late in life.”
Why would an attractive woman want to attract men who are similar types to herself? One guy on the forum called it feelings of “entitlement, superiority, and basically a spoiled princess mentality.” He was comparing the two super-attractive women he ever dated.
Number #1 “was sweet, fun, easy-going, very easy to talk with, etc. Number #2 “had a very thin veneer of the same but it didn’t take long before I started seeing signs of feelings of [entitlement/superiority complex].”
“I had no problem walking away, quickly, from #2,” he added.
The entitlement complex, unfortunately, is also why the super-attractive woman attracts the hottest, most eligible bachelors around, men who themselves have waiting lists ten deep of women to date.
The Hot & Over-Subscribed Prospect
Entitlement complex aside, there is a point to be made that an attractive woman should pair with a nice, successful man, especially if the woman herself is also successful. There are advantages to this, such as:
This type of man is (presumably) used to being with women of your caliber, a guy who isn’t “intimidated” by your looks or aura. Such a man has the time to seek out whatever else makes you special personality-wise. He has the time and the patience to continue the interaction. He might even cook you breakfast. He’ll certainly call you the following day!
But, on the flipside, this is the kind of man who already has lots of choices and is likely to be a player.
You can get these nice men, but you have to watch out where you find them. Because, choosing a bad source will get you pick-up artists, players and so on.
Steve gave this advice:
“Venues like bars, singles events or even random encounters on the street are going to favor meeting men who are interested in what you are [sexy; a trophy to be bagged]. At least starting off. If you want to meet men who are interested in who you are, find something YOU like to do that isn’t focused on single people, something that will bring you into contact with single men, and something that generates conversations.
“If a man keeps engaging you in conversations past initial meetings and he is interested in the content of what you are saying then he is interested in who you are. You probably can tell when someone is interested in what you are saying, but [courteously, politely] disagrees with you and asks you pointed questions... [These] are good indicators that he cares about what you are saying beyond the fact an attractive woman is talking to him.
“Don’t go looking in nerd-heavy venues or with political volunteer groups so much. Those guys will be just as bad about focusing on what you are [your sex appeal and such] but since they are under-exposed to beautiful women they will not be as graceful about it as the smooth bar-room operators. I say that being a person who goes to such venues.”
Players and pickup artists
These are the men who are out looking for conquests and trophies. Now you know where they lurk; where they hang out!
Reason #2 Why Your Dates Drop Out Of Sight
A super-attractive young woman has had a life as a pretty little girl, a life that can do a lot to short-change you when it comes to developing your personality, your character, your competencies, your aspirations and values, and so on.
Zanny wrote:
“…Beautiful women were more than likely beautiful girls when they were young. And if you’re a ‘pretty girl,’ you learn very early on that your looks are what gets the attention, makes you stand out from the rest, and unfortunately, what gives you value. No matter that you are also a genuinely good-hearted kid, who is kind and smart, a good athlete or team player, or whatever other qualities you possess besides your physical beauty.
“You become an object for others to admire. How many times have you heard adults say, ‘Oh, she’s such a pretty girl. She’ll have to fight the men off when she gets older.’ Then, when you’re older and actually are fighting off men and yet can’t find anyone to love you for [who you are], you wonder what’s wrong with you.
“You were raised to believe that your looks were enough to carry the day. So you start wondering if maybe you ARE boring, or needy, or neurotic, have bad breath, etc. Sure, there are beautiful people who are shallow, boring or mean, just like there are less-than-beautiful people who are that way. And yes, looks are important, but only to a point, because if you haven’t also developed your own personality, character, sense of humor & convictions (because you weren’t encouraged to… you learned your looks would be enough), it’s baffling as an adult to learn that looks are, in fact, not enough.”
The point here is that before the super-attractive twenty-something woman decided to date to find Mr. Right and settle down, she hasn’t had to pitch her “value proposition” to any man, to sell the product that is her. She’s like a job seeker who goes to a job interview without a resume, CV, or cover letter – and what’s worse, she doesn’t know how to write these documents, because frankly, she has never needed them!
What do you think is going to happen? She won’t have a clue what questions to expect; much less how best to answer them!
Before this point men were all ready to fawn over you, and all you had to show of yourself was the dazzling, mouth-watering exterior packaging – your looks. But now that you have decided to find a man with whom to settle down and have a family, the prospective Mr. Right you’re dating wants to get the look and feel of the whole product that is you; the goods; the woman inside Miss Sparkle who they dream to have fun with today and twenty, thirty, forty years from now.
But guess what, Miss Sparkle is clueless about making a sales proposal…
In business, before you can make a sales proposal to the other party you have to very clearly and persuasively communicate three things to have your prospect salivating to order your product or service – position, problem, and proposal. And then of course you have to name your price.
Position is where your prospect is now (he’s looking for a nice, compatible woman who he can have a family with, and a happy, frictionless relationship with lots of fun, today and fifteen, thirty years from now); problem is he’s getting jaded and getting tired of filtering through dates to find The One. His time is precious. Your proposal is… wait, what’s your proposal?
Miss Sparkle not only never had to make a pitch, it could happen she hasn’t had to think beyond what she herself wants now – and FAST – i.e. to settle down. The result? Those first dates go badly wrong, for the man.
A date is a sales situation. And the stakes are high. We’re talking about starting a family and doing our bit to nurture the next generation after us in this continuing saga.
(Parts of this report are condensed from content that was first published on www.EvanMarcKatz.com Evan Katz is a personal trainer who helps women who want to find love.)
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Click here to continue to Part 3
